CAN YOU PLAY THAT ONE SONG
THE WORLD'S WORST SONG REQUESTS
lame guy asks the Godfather of Hip-Hop, DJ Afrika Bambaataa:  ”do you have any Lady Gaga?”
A BLOWJOB FOR A SONG
  • drunk girl:
    can you play Rihanna?

  • DJ:
    I'll try

  • drunk girl (5 minutes later):
    can you play Rihanna?

  • DJ:
    Yea yea. I'll work it in.

  • drunk girl (5 minutes later - with a pouty face):
    can you play Rihanna?

  • DJ:
    Sorry I honestly don't really take requests (trying to be polite)

  • drunk girl:
    pleeeeeeaseeee??? but my friend will give you a blowjob!

  • drunk girl's friend:
    WHAT?!

DJ is playing. Records strewn about.
Random guy starts starts leafing through the records behind his back and finds an LP boxset by The Homosexuals.
Guy nudges DJ and makes his request…
Guy: Play this.
DJ: Later on.
Guy: Please please please play this.
DJ:  You must really like The Homosexuals.
Guy: I’ve never heard them. I’m just bisexual.
CAN YOU PLAY MY SHIT?
  • Guy:
    Can you play my shit?

  • DJ:
    Uh, what's your shit?

  • Guy:
    I don't know (then walks away)

Girl: Do you have Cascada?
DJ: Nope.  Never heard of it.
Girl: Really? You should get it.  It’s on Now Vol 21. That’s how you know it’s good!
DRUNK GIRL: do you have that song from the Jersey Shore Soundtrack, In The House?
DJ:  um, no
DRUNK GIRL:  don’t lie, you know what I’m talking about!
DJ: what? get out of my face
35 yr old woman: Do you have anything modern?
DJ: What are you talking about?  This song I’m playing right now came out 3 months ago.
woman: Just play something newer…something people can dance to…like Enrique Iglesias
Puerto Rican dude: Can you play some dance music? (while hip-hop is playing)DJ D-LO THE BIG ASIAN: What do u mean? Like techno? What kind of dance music?Puerto Rican dude: Like raggaeDJ D-LO THE BIG ASIAN: You can’t dance to hip-hop?Puerto Rican dude:  If you’re black u can!
Drunk Guy: Dude, bro, dude…all I want to hear right now is….either “All I Want For Christmas Is You”….orrrrrrr…..”Monster Mash”
DJ Ritual: Are you serious? It’s the middle of April…..
(in the club)
girl: do you have anything that you can hear on radio music stations? 
dj: no
Girl : hey do you Mickey Avalon “My Dick”?
DJ: yep
Girl: can you play it?
DJ: yea
Girl: right now?
DJ: no, its way to early for that song.
Girl: well I’m the owner’s daughter and I want you to play it now
DJ: uhhh…
Girl: do you want me to get the owner to tell you to play that song now?
DJ: don’t worry, I’ll play it.
….DJ plays the song and the girl and her friend are the only people dancing.
DJ says to the manager: yo, wasup with bob’s daughter? 
The Manager: what? he don’t have any kids!