March 2009
28 posts
3 tags
dude: got any Jurassic Five?
dj: it's a Brit pop night tonight, so it wouldn't really fit in
dude: ok, what about Nirvana?
dj: Nirvana are American
dude: oh, I see. then how about The Smashing Pumpkins?
dj: ....
lady: do you happen to have "regular" music?
dj: what do you mean by regular music?
lady: I mean, like what's on TV, songs with vocals, the stuff we people like...
1 tag
“Can you play ‘Got Money’ by Lil Wayne?”
– While DJ is mashing up MIA ‘Paper Planes’ and ‘Got Money’ by Lil Wayne
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Ghetto Blonde: Can you play that one song by that one bitch?
DJ Zimmie: Can you be more specific about the song or 'that one bitch'?
Ghetto Blond: (sings "No No No, You Don't Love Me" by Dawn Penn)
2 tags
drunk older woman: hey, I like rock
dj: is that a request or are you just volunteering information?
drunk older woman: (angry at my question)...I like to rock
dj: thats nice...I heard you the first time.
drunk older woman: (angrier, spilling drink on herself)...I like ROCK!!
dj: ok...ok...I heard you!
drunk older woman: (satisfied and thinking the DJ had given in, turns around and falls off the stage....DJ immediately dedicates "Pass the Courvoisier" by Busta Rhymes to her as she's being escorted out)
1 tag
drunk girl: can you play 'Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangster'? (by the Ghetto Boys)
dj: uh...no...this is a St. Patrick's day party
drunk girl: (while 'Flogging Molly' is playing) but you're not even playing Irish music
dj: (letting that idiotic comment go) ok, if you can name one other Ghetto Boys song, maybe I'll play your request
drunk girl: who the hell are the Ghetto Boys? is that what you're playing now? because it sucks...
dj: please leave
Student: (while Tribe Called Quest is already playing) Can you play some Tribe Called Quest?
DJ: uh...I'm playing some right now man.
Student: Oh. Can't you play a song where all 3 of them are rapping?
DJ: (ignores dumb comment)
--> in case you aren't familiar with Tribe Called Quest...it's a classic hip-hop group and there are 3 members of the group...2 of which "rap", and 1 of which is a producer who never raps
extremely drunk girl: (1st time)...hey do you have any techno?
dj: ....(ignoring girl)
extremely drunk girl: (2nd time)...come on...play some techno
dj: .....(still ignoring girl)
extremely drunk girl: (five minutes later...3rd time)...this hip-hop music sucks...play techno
dj: ....(still ignoring)
extremely drunk girl: (4th time...girl takes beer and pours it on the DJ to get his attention)...hey are you listening to me? it's my birthday and I want to hear techno!
dj: (turns off the music and yells)....BITCH YOU BETTER GET OUTTA MY FACE BEFORE I SLAP YOU!
Big Drunk Dude: hey man, do you have any of those “bass tracks”?
Jake: what do you mean?
Big Drunk Dude: you know, those tracks with the bass in them.
Jake: um. well this track I'm playing right now has bass in it
Big Drunk Dude: no, I mean tracks with bass! (reaches for mixer to turn up the bass)
Jake: security!
-----> (www.myspace.com/jakeencinasmusic)
2 tags
girl: can you play some house music?
dj instinct: um...isn't this house?
girl: this ain't house music...
dj instinct: what do you mean?
girl: I ain't heard nobody say "booty" yet.
dj instinct: oh...so you want some "ghetto house"?
girl: no!! I don't want any ghetto shit...just play some house damnit
spend more time with your girl..and less time at...
Dude: Hey man, my girlfriend is missing.
DJ: Uh...you might want to call 911 and file a missing persons report.
Dude: Announce on the mic, that if anyone has seen her to call me.
DJ: Everyone knows your number?
Dude: Duhhhhhh, announce the number too.
DJ: Duhhhhhh, I think your girl might be in the boys room sitting on some dude's "mic".
(Dude dashes to the bathroom and never seen again.)
whatever happens in vegas...
Vegas club manager: yo DJ, this music sucks
DJ AM: Excuse me?
Manager: I said, This music SUCKS
DJ AM: (hit stop while song was playing...dead silence) then you don't have to listen to it anymore
DJ AM: (got my shit and left)...keep your money and have fun learning to DJ
get money!
(at a wedding, girl comes up...)
girl: You the DJ?
dj Nevoc: Ya
girl: Are you sure? Cause if your not I'll drag your ass out to the parking lot and run you over with my Expedition.
dj Nevoc: I'm positive.
girl: Ok...here is your money.
“I’d like a Bud Light and Vodka Red Bull”
2 tags
3 tags
let's not stay together...
girl: you have to play al green 'let's stay together'
dj: uh...I don't know.
girl: it's for the birthday boy. look at him. see that guy? it's his birthday. he's 25.
dj: hmm...
girl: but you have to play it!! I still have my v-card. losing it depends on you playing that song.
dj: woah...
(dude grinded with girl to 'let's stay together' and then left the club with a different girl)
1 tag
“can we listen to the radio?”
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CUEING DOES NOT EQUAL SCRATCHING
victor: *cueing up the next song*
drunk college girl: hey how come I can't hear anything you're scratching?
victor: *still cueing*
drunk college girl: come on let's hear you scratch!
2 tags
2 tags
IF THERE'S EVER ANY CONFUSION...BEAT-BOX YOUR...
girl: do you have any house music?
mos: yea.
girl: (comes back) can you play more house?
mos: but, isn't this is house?
girl: no, I mean house that I know...
mos: ok, well what do you know?
girl: (starts beat-boxing)...stuff like that
(via Agent Mos - www.myspace.com/almightyams)
Dude: Can you play less tracks with female vocals? It's really gay.
Roulade: No homo
1 tag
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