June 2010
1 post
2 tags
May 2010
2 posts
4 tags
3 tags
April 2010
1 post
March 2010
2 posts
4 tags
January 2010
2 posts
December 2009
2 posts
1 tag
girl: can you play this right now? (hands dj a napkin with 10 songs on it)
dj: if I'm a jukebox, you better start shoving quarters in my ass if you think I'm play all this. (girls mouth dropped open and was never seen again)
1 tag
October 2009
3 posts
1 tag
GIRL: CAN I LOOK AT YOUR SONGS?
DJ: NO
GIRL: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PUH-PUH-PUH-PLEASEEEEEEE
September 2009
1 post
August 2009
4 posts
“do you have anything with blood in it?”
– 50yr old mom with her 19yr old daughter at the club
girl: can you play some rock instead of this techno nonsense?
dj: this is a drum & bass night. its drum & bass only tonight.
girl: oh....ok....
girl: (5 minutes later) can you play some techno remixes of famous rock songs then?
girl: when will you get harder?
dj: when you touch it...
July 2009
1 post
May 2009
1 post
“This music isn’t meant for single people. Can you play songs that single...”
April 2009
12 posts
girl: what sort of night is this?
DJ: its an indie night
girl: Indian night?
DJ: no, INDIE music
girl: ah...Indian music
DJ: NO...INDIE music...you know...with guitars and stuff
girl: er...will you play Beyonce?
2 tags
1 tag
“I gotta white boy with me who thinks he’s black. Can you play some hip hop...”
“me and my friends just got here. we wanna know the next 10 songs you’re...”
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
pause....
Girl: Can you play the Cupid Shuffle?
DJ: Sure.
Girl: It goes "to the left, to the left, ..."
DJ: I just said yes to your request, that means I KNOW what it sounds like.
Girl: OH...OK! (short pause)
Girl: Can you play it before the club is closed though?
DJ: No. I'm just gonna play it on my way home in my car.
1 tag
guy: I like your setup!
dj: Cool. Thanks!
guy: ...
dj: ...
guy: So, I'm going to see Gunz & Roses tonight. You got any drugs?
2 tags
March 2009
28 posts
3 tags
dude: got any Jurassic Five?
dj: it's a Brit pop night tonight, so it wouldn't really fit in
dude: ok, what about Nirvana?
dj: Nirvana are American
dude: oh, I see. then how about The Smashing Pumpkins?
dj: ....
lady: do you happen to have "regular" music?
dj: what do you mean by regular music?
lady: I mean, like what's on TV, songs with vocals, the stuff we people like...
1 tag
“Can you play ‘Got Money’ by Lil Wayne?”
– While DJ is mashing up MIA ‘Paper Planes’ and ‘Got Money’ by Lil Wayne
1 tag
Ghetto Blonde: Can you play that one song by that one bitch?
DJ Zimmie: Can you be more specific about the song or 'that one bitch'?
Ghetto Blond: (sings "No No No, You Don't Love Me" by Dawn Penn)
2 tags
drunk older woman: hey, I like rock
dj: is that a request or are you just volunteering information?
drunk older woman: (angry at my question)...I like to rock
dj: thats nice...I heard you the first time.
drunk older woman: (angrier, spilling drink on herself)...I like ROCK!!
dj: ok...ok...I heard you!
drunk older woman: (satisfied and thinking the DJ had given in, turns around and falls off the stage....DJ immediately dedicates "Pass the Courvoisier" by Busta Rhymes to her as she's being escorted out)
1 tag
drunk girl: can you play 'Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangster'? (by the Ghetto Boys)
dj: uh...no...this is a St. Patrick's day party
drunk girl: (while 'Flogging Molly' is playing) but you're not even playing Irish music
dj: (letting that idiotic comment go) ok, if you can name one other Ghetto Boys song, maybe I'll play your request
drunk girl: who the hell are the Ghetto Boys? is that what you're playing now? because it sucks...
dj: please leave
Student: (while Tribe Called Quest is already playing) Can you play some Tribe Called Quest?
DJ: uh...I'm playing some right now man.
Student: Oh. Can't you play a song where all 3 of them are rapping?
DJ: (ignores dumb comment)
--> in case you aren't familiar with Tribe Called Quest...it's a classic hip-hop group and there are 3 members of the group...2 of which "rap", and 1 of which is a producer who never raps
extremely drunk girl: (1st time)...hey do you have any techno?
dj: ....(ignoring girl)
extremely drunk girl: (2nd time)...come on...play some techno
dj: .....(still ignoring girl)
extremely drunk girl: (five minutes later...3rd time)...this hip-hop music sucks...play techno
dj: ....(still ignoring)
extremely drunk girl: (4th time...girl takes beer and pours it on the DJ to get his attention)...hey are you listening to me? it's my birthday and I want to hear techno!
dj: (turns off the music and yells)....BITCH YOU BETTER GET OUTTA MY FACE BEFORE I SLAP YOU!
Big Drunk Dude: hey man, do you have any of those “bass tracks”?
Jake: what do you mean?
Big Drunk Dude: you know, those tracks with the bass in them.
Jake: um. well this track I'm playing right now has bass in it
Big Drunk Dude: no, I mean tracks with bass! (reaches for mixer to turn up the bass)
Jake: security!
-----> (www.myspace.com/jakeencinasmusic)
2 tags
girl: can you play some house music?
dj instinct: um...isn't this house?
girl: this ain't house music...
dj instinct: what do you mean?
girl: I ain't heard nobody say "booty" yet.
dj instinct: oh...so you want some "ghetto house"?
girl: no!! I don't want any ghetto shit...just play some house damnit
spend more time with your girl..and less time at...
Dude: Hey man, my girlfriend is missing.
DJ: Uh...you might want to call 911 and file a missing persons report.
Dude: Announce on the mic, that if anyone has seen her to call me.
DJ: Everyone knows your number?
Dude: Duhhhhhh, announce the number too.
DJ: Duhhhhhh, I think your girl might be in the boys room sitting on some dude's "mic".
(Dude dashes to the bathroom and never seen again.)
whatever happens in vegas...
Vegas club manager: yo DJ, this music sucks
DJ AM: Excuse me?
Manager: I said, This music SUCKS
DJ AM: (hit stop while song was playing...dead silence) then you don't have to listen to it anymore
DJ AM: (got my shit and left)...keep your money and have fun learning to DJ
get money!
(at a wedding, girl comes up...)
girl: You the DJ?
dj Nevoc: Ya
girl: Are you sure? Cause if your not I'll drag your ass out to the parking lot and run you over with my Expedition.
dj Nevoc: I'm positive.
girl: Ok...here is your money.
“I’d like a Bud Light and Vodka Red Bull”
2 tags
3 tags
let's not stay together...
girl: you have to play al green 'let's stay together'
dj: uh...I don't know.
girl: it's for the birthday boy. look at him. see that guy? it's his birthday. he's 25.
dj: hmm...
girl: but you have to play it!! I still have my v-card. losing it depends on you playing that song.
dj: woah...
(dude grinded with girl to 'let's stay together' and then left the club with a different girl)