Girl: Can you play some Rihanna?
DJ: This is Rihanna playing right now
Girl: OK, how about some David Guetta?
DJ: This is David Guetta featuring Rihanna
Girl: Oh.
CAN YOU PLAY THAT ONE SONG
THE WORLD'S WORST SONG REQUESTS
2011/11/30
9 notes
9 notes
(DJ-ing at the Ace Hotel)
Preppy White Guy In A Suit: Do you happen to take requests?
DLO: Not at all. Sorry.
Preppy White Guy In A Suit: Well what if I subtly just happen to say Niggas in Paris?
2011/11/16
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4 notes
dude: yo dude, can you play rocky mountain by john denver?
ed blammo: haha wait, what?
dude: my boy just got back from the war, can you play some john denver?
ed blammo: your friend just got back from a fucking war and you want to make him listen to john fucking denver?
dude: fuck you dickhead.
The DJ Vendetta
DJ walks into lame ordinary shoe store and find the girl making who made silly requests all night at the club.
DJ: Do you have soccer boots ?
Girl: No (looking stunned)
DJ: Why not, I really want soccer boots
Girl: Ehm… this is a womens shoe store, you know!
DJ: Yeah, but it is my friends birthday so I really want some soccer boots. Do you have any… Puma, Nike, Addidas… just something?
Girl: Errr, no. We don’t sell that stuff here.
DJ: Ok, you know what. If you sell me some soccer boots all my friends will come and buy some. I promise, everybody will think this is the shit.
Girl: HEY! We do NOT sell soccer boots!
DJ: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU COMMIN AROUND MY CLUB ASKING FOR RIHANNA WHEN WE OBVIOUSLY DON’T PLAY THAT SHIT *facepalms her on the way out*
2011/07/05
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10 notes
ATTENTION LADIES: your friend’s birthday is not a good enough reason to ask for terrible music
Radio Music
Girl (who just walked into the club): Can you play some radio music?
DJ (playing hiphop): You mean like Top 40 music?
Girl: No, I mean radio music. Just tune it to z100 so we can dance!
2011/06/01
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4 notes
Guy: What kinda music are you playing tonight?
3 DJs: Sort of alternative, rock, techno. Weirder stuff.
Guy: Do you do requests?
3 DJs: Depends
Guy: Can I have some Bryan Adams?
3 DJs: HAHA (all burst into hysterical laughter)
Guy: (starts crying)
2011/06/01
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7 notes
DJ: (setting up before a show)
Dude in black goth makeup: cool setup, why do you need your laptop?
DJ: this usb cord comes out into this box and my box connects to my mixer allowing me to…
Dude: (cuts DJ off) Got any Anthrax?
DJ: Nah sorry man
DJ: Well what do you have, cause if you start playing faggy techno shit I’m leaving
2011/06/01
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4 notes
guy: hey dude, do you have Hella Life?
dj: by who?
guy: I don’t know
dj: sorry, but I can’t play that if I don’t know who it’s by
guy: but dude, it’s the shit, all the girls are asking for it
dj: sorry man
guy: come on man, pretty pleaseeeeeee???
dj: sorry
guy: (starts to repeat like a 5yr old who wants their mom to buy them a new toy) hellalife…hellalife…hellalife…hellalife…hellalife…hellalife…hellalife…hellalife…hellalife
(the song he was requesting was actually Hell Of A Life by Kanye West)
2011/04/20
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13 notes
Guy: Hey man, can you play some Vampire Weekend?
DJ: Uh, I don’t have any.
Guy: But, like, come on man, can’t you just download it from iTunes?
DJ: Sorry (trying to be polite)
Guy: It’s ok man, I’ll just download it for you (grabs DJ’s laptop, pulls out all the cables out, and stops the music.)
Guy: Hey man, what is your iTunes password?
DJ: (stunned) Give it to me
(Guy gives back the laptop. DJ re-inserts the cables and exit out of iTunes.)
Guy: Hey man, why’d you just close iTunes?
(DJ punches guy in the jaw. Guy falls to the floor, unconscious. Crowd applauds)
2011/02/19
“Hey DJ! Your music SUCKS. Play something to get the party started…like the DOOBIE BROTHERS!”
